What would your life be like if you could just be yourself wherever you go?
I’ll bet it would be the stuff your dreams are made of.
Gaining poise is a struggle. Maybe you battle with doubts that you are really that good. Perhaps you wish you were bigger, stronger, or more attractive. Or maybe for some unknown reason, you feel gripped by fear when you’re in a high stakes situation.
Without poise, this happens to all of us.
You know something is wrong. So maybe you try to fix it yourself with what you know right now. There are three big ways we put band-aids on our poise deficit.
First, we fake it.
There’s some merit to doing this. After all, doesn’t it work for actors? Indeed, it can work for awhile. But a lot of emotional energy is required, and when you run out, you revert to your familiar behaviors.
The second way we deal with a lack of poise is to deny that we aren’t prepared.
Not knowing what we don’t know can blind us to the remedy we need. Since we don’t know why we feel the way we do, we figure there’s nothing we can do about it. So the cycle of doubt continues.
The third thing we do is copy the behaviors of people with poise without laying a foundation for it in ourselves.
We admire people who have the three crucial elements of poise – confidence, courage, and control. If we had these things ourselves, what couldn’t we do?
The good news is that you don’t have to be a special kind of person to have poise. You aren’t born with it. You don’t inherit it. It’s not something you can buy.
But it can be learned.
You can have the courage to do what scares you now but will make you stronger. You can have the confidence to just be yourself wherever you are. You can be in control of your emotional responses and prevent them from leading you into rash decisions.
Here’s a proven 12 step program you can use to build poise:
1. When you work, give it your all. Work hard.
2. Be a friend to the people around you.
3. Be someone people can depend on. Make your word as dependable as the sunrise.
4. Be a team player.
5. Inject enthusiasm into everything you do.
6. Practice regular self-management.
7. Keep your eyes open to what’s going on.
8. Be decisive. Think first, but be sure to act on your conclusions.
9. Focus on a purpose and go after it with all your might, confronting every obstacle in your way.
10. Exercise often so you’ll have the energy to live consistently with courage, confidence, and control.
11. Learn the basics of your profession so well that you can do it naturally and skillfully.
12. Believe fully in your organization. Be its number one fan and evangelist.
There you have it. – 12 steps you can take today to develop your own poise. Don’t worry if you don’t get there the first day. Poise takes hard work and practice. If you’ll do these things for 21 days, you’ll have a habit that will support your success for the rest of your life.
Start today and in three weeks you’ll have more poise than you ever dreamed was possible. The best thing is – it will be real and it will be yours.