Are You Tired of Not Getting What You Want?

Today I’m going to share with you a secret that will make your New Year better than ever.

As I write this, New Year’s Day is just 4 short days away. 

Many of us take stock of our lives when a New Year dawns. If you’re like me, you make plans based on how you want this year to be different. This stems from our dissatisfaction with the way things have gone before. We find ourselves falling into a rut that seems as glorious as a bowling ball falling into the gutter and creeping toward the finish like it was swimming in molasses. 

Sound familiar?

I used to tell myself, “I want this year to be different” every fall when school started. I vowed to be more outgoing. I wanted to be the life of the party whenever I entered a room. This was pretty radical for me. You see, I’d been playing the part of a dead fish for so long that becoming a social butterfly would mean I’d have to claw my way out of the heavy cocoon of shyness I’d spun for most of my life. 

It wouldn’t be easy. 

Maybe you face a similar situation. You want a better life but it seems so out of reach. You try and try and try, but like the rain that falls every week, you come up short again and again.

What can you do?  

Is it possible you might be sabotaging your own success? 

That’s a pretty bold statement. 

Let’s unpack that and see if it’s accurate. 

The first thing we do to sabotage our success is we don’t prioritize. 

You no doubt have things you want to get done. But we don’t live in a world that always cooperates with our wishes. So when something urgent interrupts us, we tackle it right away. 

Or maybe it just seems urgent. 

The second thing we do to sabotage our success is we take a negative approach.

Coach John Wooden observed that when his players took the negative approach to rebounding, their opponents outscored them. What is the negative approach? It’s telling yourself, “I can’t let him get past me. I can’t let him score.” 

That attitude puts you on the defense. 

I experienced the same thing when I noticed I hadn’t cleaned the bathroom last week. I told myself, “Man, you need to clean in here.” 

Did I do it that day? 


The third thing we do to sabotage our success is we give up.

You have a long to-do list with twenty-seven items. The phone interrupts your breakfast. 19 e-mails demand answers before lunch. Your dog needs his rabies shot. The toilet has backed up into the hallway. Your Aunt Martha wants you to visit. Facebook offers you fifty screens of friend updates this afternoon and a hundred more this evening. You promised your daughter you’d build her dollhouse- 6 weeks ago.

In a world where everyone wants something now, how will you ever fit it all in? 

Granted, you can’t do everything. But if you want to make your New Year’s resolutions stick like never before, all you have to do is invest ten seconds before you start. In fact, it’s so simple, you’ll be amazed at how easy it is and how well it works.


Here it is. 

Before you start anything you want to accomplish, say these three words:

  “I’m going to …”  

Fill in the blank after you say that with the thing you really want to accomplish. 

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this. You’re not just expressing a wish, like when you say, “I need to…” You aren’t just banking on hope like you are when you say, “I’d like to…” You’re adding the most critical element of all to your greatest wishes and desires – a commitment to take action.

If you want more confidence every day, say, “I’m going to!” 

If you want to get amazing results more often, start by saying, “I’m going to!”

If you want to be a go-getter that blasts through obstacles, tell yourself, “I’m going to!” 

Take this positive approach and you’ll get more of what you want out of life. Do this today and say goodbye to just wishing for what you want. You’ll be behind the wheel, driving forward to your chosen destination!

Posted in New Year's Resolutions, Uncategorized.

I’m a Writing Coach, a Promotion Strategist, and an Entrepreneur. I help writers engage readers, sell their ideas, and build their tribes. I design non-sleazy promotion plans for artists, writers, and other creatives. When I’m not writing, I love coffee and conversation.