What kind of communication is most important?
Steve Brown asserts in How to Talk So People Will Listen, words matter most. This is essential when you’re writing. You want your words to impress and move readers.
Roger Love, creator of Vocal Power, says your voice is most impressive. With it you can add emotion, color, and weight to every word you speak.
Nick Kolenda, author of Methods of Persuasion, says body language is indispensable. We mirror others emotions, mannerisms, and attitude. When we’re unsure about a message, we gravitate to the nonverbal.
What’s the answer?
It’s all important.
When you’re face to face with someone, you want him feel and think as you do.
Here is a three-step system to add clarity and impact to every message.
Get Your Body Right First
There is a reciprocal relationship between body language and emotions.
- Think happy thoughts and you’ll smile.
- Frown and you’ll get mad.
- Think sad thoughts and you’ll hang your head.
- Sit up straight and you’ll feel confident.
Your mood can be unpredictable. Let you body lead your mind. Assume the body language of the emotion or attitude you want, and you’ll feel it.
Decide What You Want the Other Person to Feel
Use your words wisely.
We call houses homes because it’s warm, sentimental, and personal.
We call our friends brothers and sisters because they’re closer than family.
We call a storm an act of God because we can’t control it.
It’s a sin to bore people. Call someone stunning instead of pretty. Call a mess a disaster instead of a problem. Call a sales call an intrusion instead of an interruption.
Make Sure You’re in Harmony
We have expectations for how a conversation, a meeting, or a sales call will go. Set yours high. Project confidence with your body and your voice. Use emotional words. When everything lines up, you’ll never confuse anyone.
The best way to find out how you’re doing is to answer these questions.
- Does your body language say one thing and your words say another?
- Are you intimidated by people who have more power than you?
- Do you expect this encounter will be nerve-wracking beforehand?
If you’re scared, remind yourself the other person is much like you.
- He may bark, but he probably won’t bite.
- He may have power, but he may be surprised that he got it.
- He may seem mean, but in person he may be more polite than you imagined.
The truth is things can go well or they can go badly. Aim high no matter what. If you fail, learn from it. If you risk and win, you’ll see what’s possible in your next encounter.
Sometimes when you’re near success, it seems impossible. Press on a little longer. That last no may give way to yes.
Now go make every communication count.
Think of a time when someone misunderstood you. How would you use this strategy to prevent that from happening again?