Here’s an Easy Way to Build Rapport with Anyone

What is the one thing you can do to be welcome anywhere?

It’s something we crave right up there with food, shelter, and security. 

If you can give it freely, I guarantee you’ll be welcome wherever you go.

What is it that everyone wants more than anything?

When I was young, my greatest desire was to feel like I mattered. 

Years ago, I read Dr. David Shwartz’s book The Magic of Thinking Big. One of the main ideas in the book is if you want to feel important, act important. In other words, you need to show others you are important by acting important. 

That idea sold millions of copies of that book.

While there is some merit to that, I’m going to show you an even better way. 

Before I reveal the secret though, you should know there is a problem. 

What is the biggest barrier to building rapport?

We all care about ourselves more than we do anyone else. 

The truth is we don’t need to know as much about self-love itself as we might think. We might need to take better care of ourselves. We could benefit by changing some of our habits. We would be easier to live with if we were more honest than we are. But every choice we make and every action we take is because we love ourselves. 

The biggest barrier to your success in building rapport is you.

If we want to build rapport the easy way, let’s consider what we all want most – a feeling of importance.

Last May I heard about Dr. David McCullough giving a commencement speech at Wellesley High School that went viral. His message? You’re not that special. 

On the surface that sounds cruel and demeaning, doesn’t it? 

Fortunately, he didn’t stop there.


What is the easy way to build rapport with anyone?

If you listen to the whole speech, you’ll see that you can become special by doing things for others.

Here’s the easiest, most effective way to be welcome with anyone, anywhere, any time. 

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Here are 5 practical ways to do that. 

1. Use the other person’s name when you talk with her.

2. Find a specific reason why you appreciate her and tell her so. 

3. Make her feel special by telling her how glad you are to talk with her.

4. Ask her questions about herself and listen intently to her answers.

5. Smile, nod, and make eye contact while she’s talking.

You don’t need a college education to do any of these things. All you need is a sincere desire. 

How do I put it into practice?

The next time you meet someone, be intentional about finding something to compliment. Do this often enough and you’ll be welcome with anyone, anywhere, at any time!

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I'm a Writing Coach, a Promotion Strategist, and an Entrepreneur. I help writers engage readers, sell their ideas, and build their tribes. I design non-sleazy promotion plans for artists, writers, and other creatives. When I'm not writing, I love coffee and conversation.