Last time we talked about how important your view of yourself is. If you have a bad image of yourself, wouldn’t you want to know some possible reasons why?
If you do, read on.
If not, is it because you’re afraid you can’t fix it?
Here’s the list:
1. Your parents, teachers, supervisors, or others in authority over you have rained criticism on you so much, you’re drowning.
2. Others have made fun of how you look, where you live, and what you like.
3. You make the mistake of equating failure in a project with being a total failure.
4. You can’t remember everything.
5. Comparing your experience to someone else’s when they are not alike, but you think they are.
6. Comparing your worst qualities with someone else’s best qualities.
7. You set impossible standards for yourself that you can’t possibly live up to.
8. You view pornography.
9. You see yourself as an animal in nature, so you act like it.
10. You don’t believe you’re responsible for your behavior.
Do you see any common threads?
First, you don’t think realistically when you base you opinion of yourself on other people’s bad opinions and nothing else. Everyone can do something well, but not everything. Realistically, you can’t do everything well. Michael Jordan was a great basketball player, but just so-so at baseball.
The truth is if you want to get good at something, you’ve got to invest time doing it. If you want to be a classical guitarist, you’ll have to spend time every day strumming the guitar. You’ll have to learn some pieces, find a unique way to express what the song is conveying, and do it again and again and again.
Once you’ve invested lots of time doing something, you’ll earn the right to be good at it.
When it comes to your appearance, all you can do is put your best foot forward. If some still don’t like you then, those people probably don’t have many real friends anyway.
So, maybe you can blame someone for messing with your mind in the past, but now that you know a little about how to think realistically, you can’t use that excuse anymore.
You are responsible. You’re not an animal ruled by instinct.
Don’t give others permission to define you with lies.
Next time we’ll talk about how to improve how you think of yourself.