The Secret to Having Great Conversations

Have you ever talked with someone who wouldn’t listen to a word you said? 

Have you ever had trouble keeping a conversation going once you start? 

Have you ever wanted to know how to talk so others will like you? 

The secret I’m about to reveal will help you answer all these questions.

But first, let’s look at … 

The Roadblocks

There are three roadblocks to having great conversations:

1. We don’t care what the other person has to say. 

2. We’re busy with something else.

3. We have an agenda for the conversation like:

• Business networking

• Making a sale

• Making a point

All these problems have a common solution. It’s found in this principle: 

Here are three fantastic benefits of letting other people talk about their favorite subject – themselves! 

1. You’ll make friends more easily.

Give us a chance to talk about ourselves and we can talk all afternoon!

I met someone at a party a few years ago. She was standing alone in a corner. I introduced myself. I smiled and made eye contact. I asked questions that gave her a chance to talk at length. 

She enjoyed herself so much we talked for almost an hour! 

Here are some questions you can use to get someone to talk:

Where are you from?

What do you like to do in your spare time?

What’s your favorite movie?

What did you study in school? 

What do you do for a living? 

How did get started in your work? 

This should be enough to get you started. 

Oh, be sure not to start your conversation with a plan for how you want it to go. Just go the flow. Ask the natural questions that arise from what the other person says.

And when she’s ready to quit, make a gracious exit.

2. You’ll have better relationships.

First, you’ll be more open.  You might have something to say, but you’ll be kind enough to listen first.

Second, you’ll make it obvious that you’re interested with eye contact, an occasional head nod, and maybe a touch on the arm (if appropriate).

Third, you won’t assume you know someone’s thoughts. You’ll let her be honest and say what she wants. 

Wouldn’t you like to have a friend who does that? 

3. You’ll be able to solve problems.

A good listener takes the time to hear what someone is really saying. She doesn’t pass judgment before she has all the facts she needs. She is ready to offer advice. She will even offer a solution – if that’s what the other person wants.

You can’t really force a person to follow your advice. Sometimes those who need it most and nod all the way through won’t do a thing you say. However, the more they know you care, the better the chance they’ll take action. 

Be a better listener the next time you talk to someone. Let her have all the time she wants to talk about herself. You’ll be more popular. She’ll think you’re a great conversationalist. And you’ll have more friends than you ever imagined!

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I’m a Writing Coach, a Promotion Strategist, and an Entrepreneur. I help writers engage readers, sell their ideas, and build their tribes. I design non-sleazy promotion plans for artists, writers, and other creatives. When I’m not writing, I love coffee and conversation.