How you feel about yourself is important. It will color how you do your work, how you handle your relationships, choose your hobbies, handle your money, and generally get along in life.
I don’t have to spend a lot of time telling you to think about yourself. That’s what most of us spend all our time doing.
By the way, if you’re wondering whether your friends and colleagues are talking about you behind your back, rest assured that unless you are extremely obnoxious, they probably aren’t.
If you see yourself as valuable, then it’s easy to see others as valuable too. After all, aren’t we pretty much the same in a lot of ways? Don’t we all want to be noticed when we do something good and forgiven when we blow it?
You’ve probably heard the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you’d have done to you. Generally, this is the rule we apply when we want others to be nice to us. We treat them well so they will treat us well. You scratch my back; I scratch yours.
Sounds kind of manipulative, doesn’t it?
Before we get to that, think about this. When you are rude to others, you are operating under the same rule. When you criticize harshly, should you be surprised when the target of your venom gets defensive?
If you treat others in a particular way in order to get something, then it is manipulative.
If you offer your best, kindest, most respectful manner to others with little thought of the return, you have a handle on the part of life you really control.
But the rule remains. People generally reflect the behavior that is presented to them. To do otherwise is a matter of choice and discipline.
If you want the best from your people, then treat them like they are the best. You’ll be surprised at what they’ll do in response to that. Let them know you care about them as people alongside what production potential they can offer. You have to do both, though. If you emphasize the personal over the performance, you won’t get them to catch your vision. If you tip the scales to performance, then you’ll have an army who feel like impersonal cogs in a wheel.
The trick is to aim high on both sides.
Treat your people like champions and they won’t be nags.